words can never say the way he says my name.

i go through phases with the way i see jesus.

i guess depending on what i'm studying in his word... what music i'm into at the time... what situation in life i'm in... 

all determines which characteristic of christ i really focus in on at the time.

lately,

i've really been looking at jesus as a lover.

like an intimacy.

i love these scriptures in isaiah...

"i will greatly rejoice in the Lord; 

my soul shall exult in my God, for he has closed me with the garments of salvation; 

he has covered me with the robe of righteousness, 

as bridegroom decks himself like a priest with a beautiful headdress, 

and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels."

isaiah 61.10

"for as a young man marries a young woman, 

so shall your sons (and daughters) marry you, 

and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, 

so shall your God rejoice over you."

isaiah 62.5

this song displays my affections for jesus and his affections for me.

**side note: i am not promoting "jesus culture" here, although i do think kim walker can sing it up... this song was actually written by sarah mcmillan, wife of john mark mcmillan who wrote "how he loves".

words can never say

the way he says my name

he calls me lovely.

+ and -

being home definitely has its pros and cons.  

sometimes i'm happy being back in garland, tx...

on the other hand,

many times i'm pretty much ready to be back in austin.

let's do a little plus and minus shall we...

things i like about home.

• lifetime fitness gym... i miss my barbell class and all the other perks that come with the uppity fitness center.
• silence
• free food
• springcreek
• a kitchen to cook in
• the back patio
• my best friends in the world
• cafe brazil
• mercy house
• gooey's frozen yogurt
• the village
• my family
• catching up with old friends

things i don't like about being home.

• i am allergic to garland... or my dog.
• the immense lack of cool coffeeshops
• having to have the conservation with every 1 in 3 people i run into about why i'm not playing ball
• the boredom that comes with the comfort of suburbia
• having to drive everywhere
• missing my friends/community in austin
• holiday family-wide sickness
• waiting
• my room
• run-ins with awkward people

its good to be home...

in garland that is.

but i'm getting ready to go back to austin...

which i often find myself calling home too.

ps.  go see "slumdog millionare".

a year in the life.

i've been looking back on the year of 2008 in the life of meghan strickland.  its interesting seeing where i was in january 2008... can't believe that was only a year ago.  

i think i have learned more this year than any previous year.  

i feel like paraphrasing my year list style.

1. i really began to learn what true godly relationships/dating look like.
2. i experienced a new level of closeness and intimacy with the Father... beginning with hearing Him say "you are my child"... a moment i will forever cherish with Him.
3. i found Mercy House in dallas... a homeless outreach ministry.  a group of people i now consider family.  jesus changed my life in that place and through those people.
4. jesus softened my heart... and i felt brokeness in a way i never had... for the lost and the oppressed.
5. i went through a horrible exhausting time of legalism... but was reintroduced to GRACE.  and it was all the more beautiful.
6. i faced one of the most difficult events of my life... one of those "is this really happening?" moments.  i felt betrayed.  i felt shock.  i felt anger.  i felt bitterness.  i felt sadness.  i felt confused.  i got really mad... at a lot of people.  

  but then redemption.  healing.  reconciliation.  to god.  and to others.  for many.  i forgave.  i was forgiven.  i felt peace.  i witnessed God do what he does best... making beauty out of the mess.  

  i grew.  a lot.  and i am freed from bitterness.  and i am grateful that jesus let me fall on my face and feel my desperate desperate need for Him.

     7.  i went to Kenya.  (and from this i could write a book)  in short, jesus rocked my face off.   africa forever has one of the pieces of my heart that broke off when my world shattered there... in a good way.  i only hope to one day return to my brothers and sisters there... the people who taught me more in two weeks than i've learned in years.

     8.  i went through a rough stage with america.  i got pissed.  i was sick... at the culture, war, politics, "the american church", materialism, suburbia, rich people, consumerism, complacency... i was sick.  full of cynicism and dare i say, hatred.  i refused to say the pledge.  i got frustrated hearing about soldiers.  i got angry when i saw the american flag in churches.  i argued with friends and others.  and i turned into a self-righteous judge.  and i thought this was the third way... the way of jesus.  but i was adopting my own way... and it lacked love.  

i'm thankful to say jesus convicted me.  and he freed me.  i have a new understanding.  one that is not satisfied with the way things are... but one that allows me to love those that are hard for me to love... one that allows me to vote... one that allows me to be grateful for my country (although i'd rather not live here forever :) )

     9. i graduated high school... a long-awaited day.

    10. i moved to atx... and started my first semester of college.

    11.  met beautiful friends and found an incredible body of believers

    12.  watched god's transforming power as my previously atheist roommate fell absolutely in love with jesus christ. 

    13.  felt confirmation on god's calling on my life... to be, in some way, shape, or form, with the physically poor.  (still patiently waiting on specifics)

    14.  made a 4.0 in my first semester of college.  

bring it 2009.

roots and reflection.

reflection.

this is a discipline i need to practice more regularly.  

i like to be doing something.  i like to get things done.

i like to get through a stack of books and say DONE.

i like feeling accomplished.  who doesnt?

but what good is it really, if i get a lot "done" but dont let it touch my heart.

reminds me of high school... get work done, do what i need to do to get the A...

now if you ask me one thing about calculus.. no clue.

so i need to slow down... breathe... take things in... reflect.

if i listen to teaching... reflect.

if i read a book... reflect.

if i study scripture... reflect.

if i have good conversation with a friend... reflect.

if i do life for a semester... reflect.

easier said than done though.

reflection can be hard.  we forget things.  

it can also be messy.  those burdens we've shoved to that dark corners of our hearts.  those sins in our lives that we just cant shake.  those moments of absolute failure.  reflection causes those ugly things to flood back into the very front stage of our minds... vivid and clear as ever.

messy...

but when god takes a humble step into the cesspool of our filth... what is always birthed forth from our mess is beauty.

but this process of beautification... this progressive sanctifying... begins with reflection.

and it begins at the root.  

if we don't start at the root... we will live forever in the endless cycle of bondage.  we will time after time fall on our face exhausted as our sin continues to drag us by the ankle through mud.  our spirit will die because no amount of extensive moral striving can fix the mess.  we will lose hope... in our selves and in God.

we have to begin at the root.  that means we have to roll up our sleeve and dig.  we have to come to grips with the source of the junk in our lives.  otherwise the manifestations will always linger.

i've got junk.  

so i'm reflecting.

and letting the maker put his gloves on and uproot these evils in my heart that were never meant to be there... and allowing him to further the sanctification only He can do in me... so that one day i can proclaim victory over sin.  all the while, in the process, leaving holes in my heart where these idols are uprooted... holes that will be filled with His love... until my every vein and artery pumps with the blood of jesus... the very blood that saves my life.

the gospel.

matt chandler layed out what the gospel is the other day... so i just want to share it.

the triune god (three persons in one: father, spirit, son),

in perfect harmony

and out of an overflow of love,

birthed forth creation (all other creation narratives believe that the universe was birthed in angst out of a power struggle between gods)

and god creates everything to have a higher purpose,

everything is meant to create gratitude that flows out of our hearts into worship for his name (food we eat, marriage, sex, wine…).

 

but sin enters into the world and fractures creation and our relationship with god (causing those things: food we eat, marriage, sex, wine… to terminate on themselves and become insatiable, losing their taste.).

 

THEN god, in his ferocious holy love,

comes as a man and lives perfectly… sinlessly until he is arrested, beaten, and murdered.

and in his crucifixion,

all the requirements of the law are fulfilled for those who would believe,

and all the wrath toward sinners is absorbed in jesus Christ.

 

he goes into the ground.

three days later, god raises him from the dead. (the resurrection is the objective evidence that the law is fulfilled and all the wrath of god is spent.)

 

so that, if we would believe and place our faith in Christ and him alone as the forgiver of our sins

and we would repent,

we would have full life here on earth

and eternal life in our perfect union with god.

 

THAT IS THE GOSPEL.

the curse.

one of my favorite verses in scripture is: 

he made him who knew no sin to become sin on our behalf,

that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

2 corinthians 5:21

but i've recently seen this scripture from a different angle.  

the part that says that he made him... become sin.

he became sin.

jesus in his holiness, became sin.

jesus in his righteousness, became sin.

jesus, god in the flesh, became sin.

this is really hard for me.

no matter how hard i wrinkle my forehead...

i just can't get this one.

what really got me thinking on this is galatains 3: 10-14

but specifically:

christ redeemed us from the curse of the law

by becoming a curse for us- 

for it is written,

"cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree."

galatians 3:13

pauls says he became sin.

then he says he became a curse.  

why didn't paul just say 

"jesus took our curse"

"jesus took our sin"

why did he have to BECOME these things.

i've always looked at jesus as a blessing...

which would be the opposite of a curse.

but then i think about jesus' words on the cross..

"ELI, ELI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?"

"MY GOD, MY GOD.  WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?"

this is disturbing.

it's as if jesus is saying...

"dad, why have you turned your back on me?"

"father, why have you removed your blessing from me?"

i heard a sermon on this subject.

and the pastor said something that sounded horrific...

if one had been sleeping during the teaching this would have perked them right up.

so be prepared for this... take heed and look at it from it's very literal meaning.

because there, on the cross, on calvary's mountain, outside of jerusalem

GOD DAMNED JESUS.

and he 

became

a

curse.

jesus became a curse for us.

he became something god hated.

because he loves us that much.

i still don't fully grasp this.

who knows if i ever will.

but i know this much...

that we can either bear the curse of God... the one we fully are under... the one we fully deserve

OR

we can flee to the arms of the one who became the curse of God for us.

Joy to the world...

he comes to make his blessings flow...

far as the curse is found.

may my love reach you all.

"dead man's will" by iron & wine and calexico... why have i never listened to this?  beautiful. i often look at beautiful songs as fitting one of two categories: funeral or wedding.  obviously this is the perfect funeral song.  samuel bean is all i need.  

an infant.

i cant get over this image of the almighty holy God

coming to earth as an infant...

an infant.

i've been around my fair share of babies lately... boy, what a humble estate.  they are completely helpless.  they have to be fed.  they suck their thumbs.  they cry.  they need help just to burp.  

seriously, God in this form?

Couldn't He have brought Jesus to earth as a teenager at least?  we dont even know anything really about his childhood... from the manger scene until we find him in the temple preaching at age twelve... nothing. 

 

see, i always have these images of jesus as a servant in his humility... riding a donkey, washing feet, taking beatings, not speaking a word, dying an incredibly embarrassing death.  

but how unbelievably humble is this picture of God coming as a baby.  

jesus in diapers.

i think this just shows the characteristic of God in such a beautiful way.

fully human.  fully god.

completely reliant.  completely in control.

a child.  a king.

a quiet birth.  a change in history.

an infant. a savior.  

the beginning of an end.

as will ferrell would say,

dear lord baby jesus.

it is the night of our dear savior's birth.

a funnel for this passion.

i realize in this short time of rest... how much i need to write.  not that i am any sort of gifted writer.. but more that its just one of those things i need to do... to keep my sanity.  otherwise, i let life live me...  i let ideas come in.  then i forget.  i get passionate about an organization, a ministry, a relationship, a focus, a path, a direction... then i quickly drop it and run to the next thing that twinkles and catches my eye.  so i need focus.  i need to stop.  i need to breathe.  i need to reflect.  i need to consult.  i need to think.  i need to pray.  

and so i write...

i am discouraged some.  

i am a passionate person.  i feel the lord has lit a burning fire in my soul... for the poor, the lowly, the oppressed, 

for people (for we are all each of these things in some form).  

recently though, i am afraid i've lost something in this righteous anger that moves me to passion and then to action.  because it is the action part that i seem to be stuck at.  and my question is how?  

i've had a few of these discouraging moments over the past few months in austin.  and god has given me reminders and confirmation of his calling on my life.  he has given me opprotunities to see that i CAN help... that those whispers in my head telling me to quit trying, i'm just wasting my time, i can't do anything about this are from satan.

but i've come to a lull.  

and this weekend i saw a good friend.  i havent gotten to see him much since i moved to austin... but he is one of the most passionate jesus-loving guys i know.  he has always encouraged me simply by the way he pursues people.  we've done ministry together.  we share the same heart for missions... locally and internationally.  he has incredible gifts... one of which is film.  he wants to spend his life making films for jesus... most likely capturing the stories of the oppressed to show the world.  and he won't let anything stop him from doing kingdom work.

but this weekend... i've never seen the guy so low.  he was discouraged beyond belief... frustrated and angry.  he told me he feels like every door is slamming in his face.  he set so many things aside to pursue this and its all falling a part.  everyone he had on board to get something started has fallen off.  he is alone.  he is exhausted... in every sense of the word.  he is stuck.  he is confused and frustrated.  and he is wondering what in the world the lord is doing.  should he wait?  even longer than he already has?  is he pursuing the wrong thing?  surely not.

this broke me.  it broke me to see a guy with such zeal to do WHATEVER the lord asks of him, a guy with an "i dont care what the world thinks" attitude, a guy who's willing to be uncomfortable for jesus... it broke me to see my brother feeling so lost and so dead.

i had no words for him.  how could i encourage him when i am asking the same question of the lord?  even if i tried to give words... they are only mine.  so we prayed.  and we sat.  and we shook our head.  and we asked why.  and we praised his name.  and now we wait.

but do we wait?  there is a time for this i know.  but when is it a time to seek?  when is it a time when god is waiting on US?  do we not act because of "divine dismissal"?  is that really what this is?

my friend is confused.  he desperately needs the lord's guidance.  and so do i.  i hate feeling complacent.  i feel like the time to act is now.  to find what it is the lord would have me do for the next month, 6 months, a year, 4 years, my life... and pour all of this passion and emotion and anger and excitement and love completely and fully into every ounce of the road.  to pour myself out for jesus christ and his people.  

i just want to know 

what that looks like...

a funnel.

help us savior.

psalm 9:18

samson and margaret got food, clothes, furniture, and a COW...

that's my boy.  he's a g.

these few things change the ontanyo's day to day life.  these thing change their social status.  these things change their income dramatically.  these things change their morale.  these things change their life.  

thank you all HOPE supports.  any money leftover from the trip went to a family... my family... our family on the other side of the globe.  

merry christmas samson and margaret. 

i miss you both.

nakupenda sana.

Boldness.

Jesus is crazy... and i follow this crazy man.  and i'm coming to realize my life has to look crazy too... that is if i'm really following him.

i've been really upset with myself lately... my lack of boldness to proclaim the Gospel is sickening.  I have so many petty fears that I let get in the way of Jesus.  And i wonder... why does this world have so much hold on me?  such a frustrating idea because... it really.does.not.matter.

so i've been trying to kill this sin of mine... this scardy-cat syndrome... this o-ye-of-little-faith disease.  this morning me and some friends on my hall went to the top of a beautiful mountain to watch the sunrise over austin.  so majestic!  we had some beautiful time with the lord.

we decided to rid ourselves of the sins and burdens that are weighing us down that we cannot seem to get out from under.  so we wrote down whatever sin it was... ripped it up in a million pieces... and let the wind carry it off the side of that cliff.  yes, cheesy.. clique.. i know.  but beautiful indeed.... especially after reading psalm 103 which says God has removed our transgressions as far as the east is from the west.

so i threw away my fear.  i surrendered to the Lord... i asked for a new strength and a new degree of boldness in my faith.  crazy, radical, ridiculous action.  

didnt take long for jc to go to work.  i walked out of a coffee shop this afternoon and ran into a homeless friend of mine, tater'd.  he usually forgets my name... so i'm known simply as the christian hippie traveler. (not sure about the traveler part but i'll claim it).  we were talking on the drag in front of the square where the hippie vendors in austin sell all their jewlery and shirts.  so we were pretty much in the midst of the busiest area right on the sidewalk... partially blocking the paths of everyone walking by.  

so another homeless guy named jeffro came up... seemingly a little drunk.  he asked me if i loved jesus... i told him yes... and he said he did too.  then he asked me if i wanted to pray.  i said yes and proceeded to get out of the middle of the street to pray for him.  instead, jeffro grabbed taterd's hand and mine tight, squeezed his eyes shut, and began to pray like no body's business.  he was shouting.... like intense prayer too... like GOD, WE REBUKE THE ENEMY.  GET BEHIND US SATAN.  LEAD US TO FISH FOR MEN.  YOU ARE POWERFUL!  this continued for probably 5 minutes... which in all honesty, felt like a lifetime considering people were bumping into us and making comments as they were walking by and jeffro was squeezing all the blood out of my hand.  

moral of story---> God gave me an opportunity to be bold.  in fact, He left me no choice.  i was really self-conscious for the first minute or so.  what are people saying?  they probably think i'm crazy?  jeffro is praying way too loud.  he's probably disturbing people.  his praying probably sounds scary!  but once i realized that this public prayer with two homeless guys in the middle of austin, shouting, hand in hand, raising our arms, our eyes squeezed shut... was an answer to my prayer.  

BOLDNESS.

UNDIGNIFIED.

"and what can i say

what can i do

but offer this heart

O God

completely

to You."

a pitiful fool.

"If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied."

1 Cor 15:19

The few moments when i actually grasp and experience the weight of this verse... i am shamed.  if the resurection did not happen... would i be looked at as a poor, sad, pitiful soul that poured out all she had for Jesus and lived a life of absolute sold out commitment to the hope of the resurrection?

God has not stopped repeating this scripture in my ear.  "Are you above all most to be pitied?" he says.  or am i one that if Jesus did not raise again, wouldn't have that much evidence for anyone to feel sorry for me... cause i wasn't all that sold out anyway.

John Piper writes about this text.  He talks about the way Paul lived a life worthy of being called a pitiable fool.  And he goes on to discuss this life... a sold out life... one of self-sacrifice versus a lukewarm (church word) life... one of self-indulgence.

Throw down Piper:

"The incentive goes like this: I believe that deep down most of you, at your best and highest moments, dream of spending your lives in sacrificial love, not selfish indulgence. We dream of a life that's cutting edge and radical and risk-taking and different from the cautious, prudent, secure, self-enhancing life of middle-class America.

I know that there is another side to us and that we have other dreams that we are not very proud of. We dream of all the physical pleasures, all the material comforts, all the earthly securities, all the family delights, all the human esteem or fame that is possible to get in this life. And if that's all you dream about, then my point in this message is probably going to go in one ear and out the other.

But I think most of you have had those higher moments when you dream of spending your life in the service of some great cause that helps other people in spite of tremendous cost to you - a life of sacrificial love, not selfish indulgence."

i want to live radically.  

i want to live with a reckless abandon.  

i want to live the life of a pitiful fool if this jesus story isn't true.

and for the record... it is true.  Jesus rose.  for me.  for you.  and that is enough for me to want to be a pitiful fool for Him.

Jesus forgive me when i am so far from this.

drunk girl.

so last night i was talking with some friends out on the street... and this girl walks up (well, more like skips up to us)... she has a huge smile on her face... and she just starts hugging and laying all over us... not to mention she has a lipstick kiss mark on her cheek!  she then proceeds to tell us her name while she's hugging us a second time.  by this time, i'm pretty convinced that she's drunk.  she is just absolutely goofy happy.  but when we inquire about the lipstick... she says "why not?!".. but then goes on to say that she just got back from her community group (some sort of group that gathers to talk about how incredible jesus is).... then i notice that she is wearing a cross around her neck.  and suddenly it hits me... this girl isn't drunk on alcohol... shes drunk of JESUS!!  joy is spilling out of her heart and overflowing onto us.  and she simply cannot help it!

there's a name for what that girl was doing... WORSHIP.  she was worshipping our Lord.  i think we probably hugged 4 or 5 more times within those 5-10 minutes and i was bummed when she left... i had just encountered Jesus in that girl.  it was beautiful.  and encouraging as heck.  

me and a friend had been talking about worship about an hour before our encounter with our new friend.  we were discussing how worship is something you just cannot contain... worship is our response to what Jesus has done for us... a response.  our actions should reflect this.  we should lift our hands and stand on our tip toes because we want to get closer to Him.  we should fall to our knees in awe of this Mighty God because we are so undeserving yet so loved.  we should dance and sing and yell out joyously from the depths of our soul.  

we should bear hug people we don't even know.

because jesus is that sweet.

"and the cry of my heart is to bring You praise 

from the inside out, O my soul cries out Lord."

the center.

Well i cannot believe the day has finally come... I am moving to Austin tomorrow morning.  i am so excited to be thrown out of the comfortable normalcy of my life in Garland.  Leaving beautiful friends and the support i have from them and accountability is no fun.  But i have faith that my time with them has only been to strengthen my walk with the Lord for a time such as this.  Thank you friends.  I owe you my life.

I'm going to go ahead and write this... i pray it doesn't happen... but i need to write it as a reminder to myself.  The temptation in a place like Austin... for me at least... is not the parties or craziness or blatant sin... but it's a matter of motives.  Getting caught up in the "cool factor", as lame as that sounds.  It is feeding the homeless because it's what any cool bohemian austin hippie would do.  It's going to a church because they do trendy things.  It's sacrificing time with my precious Jesus to read a book (maybe even a "christian" book :o).  It's wearing clothes with a peace sign on it because that's what everyone wears.  

All these things are not necessarily "bad"... but the reason for doing them is NOT Jesus.  O the tricky ways of the enemy.  I am about to be thrown into a battle.  I must be aware and ready.  I must not let these backward motives sneak in.  It must always be about Christ.

Jesus at the center

of it all.  

oh how he loves us.

i've been in love with this song... and i just heard the story behind it... it's incredible.

Praise of Men.

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.  Thus when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet, as the HYPOCRITES do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others.  Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.  But when you give to the needy do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret.  And your Father who sees in secret will reward you."  Matthew 6:1-4

"Woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation."  Luke 6:24

"Woe to you, when people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets."  Luke 6:26

I am convicted.  I am absolutely guilty according to these scriptures... and many more I didn't write out.  I want the praises of men.  I want others to know I feed the homeless.  I want my "righteous acts" to be known.  Ha... funny how the Lord says "my righteous acts" are like filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6).  The best possible humanitarian act... the most glorious charity deed... the single most outstanding, mother-teresa-sized display of compassion I can muster... is like a dirty dish rag in the eyes of the Father.  I fall so so so so so short even on my best day.

The Message reads: "But there's trouble ahead if you think you have it made.  What you have is all you'll ever get... There's trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others." (Luke 6:24, 26)  If I want man's praise... God says that's what I'll get.  He's a gentlemen... he'll let me have what I want.  But He says I won't see them!  I won't see you doing the things I have called you to do FOR ME. You will get no recognition from me!  

So often i try to serve both God and man.  I need to be delivered from my fickleness.  

Thank the Lord I have a Savior... who came to save me from myself.

Thanks ad for sharing your conviction on this... you helped ME see.

Thank you Jesus for your Grace.  Amen.

trouble.

so my friend liz gave me this louie giglio sermon to watch... now i'm a louie fan and all but honestly i really wasn't that excited about tuning into two 45-minute Passion Conference sermons on dvd.

well i finished part II last night... and i was blown away. there is this central and beautiful truth that louie reveals that i just cannot get over. i want to share it with you.. whoever reads this ha... but i'm no lou so forgive me if this doesn't sound as eloquent. (if you do have 90 spare minutes on your hands.. go get the dvd... its called HOPE- When Life Hurts Most)


John 16:33 says: "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

so essentially... louie's 90 minutes in a nutshell was this:

1. Trouble... earth-shattering, heart-ripping, life-altering, pain-staking TROUBLE... is inevitable. It. Will. Come. if it hasn't already.
2. The Cross... is the worst and the best thing that ever happened. Christ experienced more pain and suffering than anyone of us so that we might have a Savior who understands our pain. Jesus offers Himself and His cross as an anchor of hope no matter what we face in life.
3. Suffering.. then becomes something we can endure... but more importantly suffering becomes a way for us to bring His name glory.... a way for us to use our darkest moments for His fame. When life hurts most, the world listens most intently to our message... allowing us to show through our pain the goodness of the One who loves us the most.

i'm not in the midst of a big storm or tragedy right now... i don't wanna say that i feel something coming cuz i could be wrong... but if trouble is coming my way, the Lord has sure been preparing me. i really do believe there is beauty in the midst of suffering. when we suffer, we are closest to Christ... and that is exactly where i want to be.

me and my friend amanda have worn this video out watching it. the song is incredible and so is the story behind it.

KENYA.

A few pics from Kenya...

more on facebook if you have one.

Back to the States.

Yes... I've returned from my adventure in Kenya. I'm happy and sad to be back. I've been trying to process through my whole expereince so that I don't sound like a blabbering idiot when I blog about it. I'm still working on that.

I decided to conform and get a facebook... but primarily for the purpose of sharing all the pics. So you can search me... Meghan Strickland... obviously. I've put up all the pics and wrote a little about each one. I'm in the process of putting together a little write-up with pics and little stories and things I took away from my time in Kenya.

For now.. I'll just say a little bit (even though that is not easy to do)... Kenya was incredible, overwhelming, heart-breaking, encouraging, humbling, unforgettable, and many more emotions all in one. i loved it and I want to go back. The people are beautiful... in every way. But the poverty you hear about and see on tv, if youve never been, is very very real. It is an absolute different world. It's hard to comprehend. My heart was ripped out. But the joy, the faith, and the HOPE of the people is what kept my heart from breaking into a million pieces... because, it can't. You can't stay sad for long when you see how these people treat one another like family and they praise God for everything and kids love school and they take joy in the little things.

I've heard it said by friends who have gone to Africa.. but now i can officially say it and know that its true: We (Americans) may be so blessed with material things and we may have so much... but the people in Katito, Kenya have something we don't have. We say they live in poverty... and they do.. very much so.. in fact they live in extreme poverty (less than $1 a day)....... BUT we too live in poverty in America... a different kind of poverty... but poverty nonetheless.

A definiton of poverty is the deprivation of those things that determine the quality of life. We tend to deprive ourselves of true joy.. of what it means to be content in all circumstances.. of enjoying one another... of not keeping ourselves busy... of being thankful... of giving God the Glory and the credit He deserves.

Kenyans have all these things.. and they've taught me all these things and more. Now I'm just trying to figure out how to innovate... how I can bring a little bit of Kenya to America and incorporate it into my life everyday... because I cannot keep living the way I do. I must try to slow down. I must try to be grateful. I must try to care about others more. I must try to enjoy God's creation.

3 DAYSSS!

Yes!

I am 3 days away from Kenya and I don't know what to do with myself... I really don't even have time to be writing this. But I am ecstatic. God has provided in abundance for this trip... I'm so excited to see what I am going to experience and learn.

People keep asking me if I'm ready. As far as physically getting packed and all that... I'm getting there. But mentally, emotionally, and most importantly spiritually "ready"... wow, I don't know. My prayer has been.. God, prepare me. Prepare my heart, Lord. But I just don't think there is anyway for me to be fully prepared.

I know the statistics. I've read about the poverty. I've heard first-hand accounts. I've seen real footage of the people in Kenya. And those things have affected me deeply...

But I haven't met the people that make up those statistics. I haven't hugged the child I send money to each month. I haven't experienced life in Africa. I cannot prepare myself for this. And I can't imagine how this trip is going to affect me... because Africa has already found a place in my heart... now my compassion can only grow more.. as the people in Katito, Kenya become real to me. I cannot wait to return and share with you.



"Let my heart be broken with the things that break the heart of God."
-Bob Pierce, World Vison Founder

Don't move.

"Therefore, my beloved brothers..

be steadfast,

immovable,

always abounding

in the work of the Lord,

knowing

that in the Lord

your labor IS NOT in vain."

-1 Corinthians 15:58

God is engraving this scripture on my heart right now.  I really mean that.  I've almost never felt more certain of God speaking through his word than now.  The crazy "coincidences" like randomly committing this verse to memory recently.. the fact that a girl stood in the middle of a service at Mercy House to read it... opening my bible up to the exact verse again and again.. my best friend sending me a word of encouragement via text message today and of course the message being 1 Corinthians 15:58.

I've been praying for God to reveal His significance behind this verse to me.  He is slowly but surely beginning to show me... well maybe its more like I'm slowly but surely starting to listen.  

I'm in austin.  The beautiful diverse city I will be moving to in the fall.  I love the city.  I am constantly reassured that this is where God has me to be.  In the past few days of being here I have befriended people of many ethnic groups and cultures and beliefs.  I have met a Jewish person, an atheist, a Muslim, a who-cares-about-religion type.  I love these people I have met.

However, I must remain steadfast.  I pray for encouraging believers here in Austin like the friends I am so blessed with at home.  

God's word is truth.

His word is real.

His word is alive.

Thank you Jesus.

You are my Rock.

GRACE.

oh where to begin... i have a million and one things to blog about. let me just say.. this last month has been crazy.. but wonderful.


well big milestone #1... i graduated high school. Praise the sweet Lord!

i am also preparing for Kenya in July... yes yes and yes!

i have UT orientation in a few weeks which only means that i am getting closer and closer to being in Austin.. probably my favorite city.


so that's the rundown of big events.. not to mention ten million things in between. But on to more important things... like big JC. o yes it always goes back to Jesus.

so my friend Lauren recently re-introduced me to this thing called GRACE. its a strange deal this "grace". it is completely irrational. it is not fair in anyway. it cannot be earned. it is free to all. it is the center of the Gospel.

i say she re-introduced GRACE to me because it seemed as if me and her both forgot about this beautiful idea... well not really an idea, but a reality we had simply disregarded. i realized that legalism in my life had begun to take the place of grace. For a short period i had started to become somewhat of a legalist.. which i would have never never have called myself... but it was true. and legalism resulted in judgement... which in turn resulted in my lack of ability to love others unconditionally... and before i knew it grace was no longer something i even understood (not that we ever truly can)... but better said, grace was something i didn't let myself experience because i was trying to be a saint by my own strength.

Legalism is such a terrible terrible cycle.. and a tiring one at that. Its an exhausting way to live. But GRACE... now grace... Grace is a most beautiful place to live. And by "living in grace" that does not mean living by license.. not in the least bit. It is realizing and accepting that I am a sinner just like my neighbor... i can never do anything to be better than my brother or sister... i can never do anything to be good enough for God... all i can do, is accept His Grace. And in that grace i am made clean.


GRACE.
i need you//

kenya update.

umm.. can i just say God provides! yes.. yes He does.

with the help of my mom and good friends, we have reached the halfway mark for my trip! $2000 in a little over 3 weeks. Praise God!

Here's a little behind the scenes in my "sweatshop" as some call it.

oh yea.. and here's a few photos of the bro... big bday weekend. Go mike!

new eyes.

i think god's been trying to say something to me lately... about having new eyes. it keeps coming up. and im just now realizing this as i'm writing (which, by the way, is the beauty of writing/journaling).. but yes im realizing that this whole "new eyes" concept does a lot to explain this brokenness ive been experiencing lately.



real quick explantaion of the brokennes...

i have been deeply broken this past week... and i havent been able to say why. It's not a guilt or sadness over something that happened, but more of a spiritual brokennes thats not necessarily bad... just painful. and if you've studied mother teresa's life, she experienced something like this.. although much more intense. Its like she felt she had to bear the darkness of the world. She physically and spiritually hurt for the poor and the low and the depressed and the down-trodden.

now im no mother T... but being around the lost and seeing their pain and their sorrow and feeling a deep deep compassion and sadness for them has played into my recent brokenness.




But back to the new eyes thing.. like i said in a recent post, Claiborne talks about how a different world is possible.. how His (God's) kingdom is a realitly. well... that is if we're willing to not see the world the way everyone else sees it. Romans 12:2 hello.

and also, this morning at The Village matt chandler discussed how theres these lenses we all put on to see the world with... the secular lens (bad), the religious lens (reallyyy bad), and the gospel lens (weird but beautiful). and the beautiful thing about the gospel lens is that we are free (unlike religion) to act out of obedience in JOY. With new eyes and the right eyes, we see realitly.. all the crap and brokenness of our reality... yet we let ourselves FEEL this and we act... for HIS glory.

cocoon.

aww yes another outkast cover... i dont think its as good as obadiah.. but ill give them some props.

Peculiar.

a few pics.. props to my boy Jeff Heimsath. He's a photo mastermind.

aw yes.. way past due on an update... shirt sales is going crazy. The Lord is providing indeed. and goes to show that young people do want to be a part of a cause.. (either that or they just think the shirts are cool) but i like to think its the former.

so i'm reading Jesus For President by my boy Shane... i encourage all to read it.. especially believers. you may not agree with everything.. but it sure makes you think.. and its pretty biblically backed so it can be hard to disagree with some of the uncomfortable truths we tend to overlook.

• "God's people look strange in a rebellious and fallen world."
• "If someone asks if we are Christ-followers, can we say, 'Tell me what you see?'"
• "Jesus taught nonviolence when he said, 'I send you out as sheep among wolves.' Jesus knew that his followers would face threats to their lives. But nowhere did Jesus teach that his followers should turn into wolves when they run into other scary wolves. God...chooses...to suffer evil to overcome it."

just a few quotes a grabbed from last chapter i read... its hard to accept this idea of being a "peculiar people". Shane is basically challenging us to look at the ever popular Christian phrase: be in the world, but not of it. I mean how far do I really have to take that? I can still wear Nike shoes even though I know they are made in sweat shops that violate child labor laws right? I can still burn CDs even though I'm breaking the law.. everybody does it right? I can still do the same thing everyone else does and still be an icon for Jesus right?

'Fraid not, shane says. I was not made for this world. I know this. America isn't the kingdom i belong to. Your Kingdom come. Your will be done. On earth.. as it is in Heaven. We (Christ-followers) are to embody His Kingdom here and now. Claiborne writes: "We are thankful for Heaven, but we are not willing to stand by and watch people live through hell to get there." This world isnt just a holding tank. This life isn't just a waiting game. We cannot simply blend in and wait until our number is called to enter the pearly gates. No way. Kingdom work should happen now. We were not given the responsibility of this body and this life and this world to just fumble through it.. ignoring injustice.. ignoring our call.. ignoring all the little hells on earth.

I'm not preaching here... well maybe i am... but if I'm talking to anyone its myself. I need to be reminded of this all the time. That we are called to be like Jesus- that is being among all the crap of the world.. definitely not distancing ourselves... but also being different. Peculiar.

Let's get creative...

Africa.

The Lord is sending me to Africa... to Kenya... and i cannot explain my excitment. I am making shirts (as seen above).. they say HOPE and the "o" is an Africa... in case you can't see i guess.

If you are interested in supporting please contact me... the shirts are $10. You can email at megstricko@yahoo.com.

There is Hope for Africa.

Yeasayer

i cant get enough of this... yeasayer is incredible.

ALL of it.

so i talked with an old friend last night... she started telling me the things God has been showing her and teaching her. There was something she said that I've heard before many times but never dug into... she said we should glorify God in all that we do.



sure.. i know this. but there's a certain little word that i tend to overlook... that word is ALL. glorify the Lord in ALL, everything, each and every single nook and cranny of me life. Now what does that encompass? well... food, sleep, work, school, speaking, clothes, relationships... all these things should be glorifying to God in my life. i know this might sound mundane.. but this is one of those things that is for the first time actually penetrating my heart.



This reminds me of a beautiful truth Rob Bell highlighted... he said that it is rather ridiculous when christians ask another brother or sister, "How is your spiritual life?"... as if we have our "normal life" here and then our "spiritual life" over there.... as if God is in this one area I have made for him and the rest is just this life I must go through... as if things are only spiritual part of the time. But the reality is everything is spiritual. ALL we do is spiritual. And when we think about things this way... God becomes very present in every second of our lives. Suddenly some daily action like driving a car is no longer just an ordinary practice.. it is beautiful. I dont mean that we must be deep and intellectual 24/7 and take everything way too seriously... definitely not. But we must do one thing.. and that is realize that the Lord wants to be an intimate part of every aspect our lives... every action we perform, no matter how "nonspiritual" it seems to us. Everything is spiritual because God is in every moment.



Now that I've begun to acknowledge this.. really acknowledge it...Everything looks different. And its become my joy to glorify God in all I do. I am beginning to experience this joy through things in my life that i never even considered.

Sunday is here... and so is Salvation.

Please listen to the words of this song.

O how we deserve death... the enemy is right... we are so not good enough. But those two words ring true and beautiful to my ears...

JESUS SAVES.

Today at church, we watched S.M. Lockridge's sermon "It's Friday, but Sunday's coming!" If you have never heard it... please go watch it on youtube now. But part of that message is that Satan thinks he is right.. that he can somehow win... that is what he thought on Calvary hill that Friday our Savior "died". But he didn't know that what was going to happen on the third day was going to mean victory

forever.

Because of what we celebrate today... we have already won!

Praise Him.

Hosanna!

it doesnt feel like easter time to me... like i felt weird waving palm branches this morning.

but then again i sound a little ridiculous.. it's not like i have to wait until March 23 to celebrate the Resurrection. i mean i know that of course... but it's almost as if i do that.

here's the celebration of Jesus riding in a donkey... well sometimes a Harley. :]

my prayer lately has been that the Lord would humble me... a woman told me today that i shouldn't pray that. It's a scary thing to ask.... because God will do it. And you probably won't be ready. and let me just say... the Lord has gone to work on me fast. This weekend I have been so so moved in mighty ways... i still need to humbled... for the very moment I lose my pride, I turn around and pat myself on the back for being so "humble". i can't seem to escape my ugly self.

not only was Christ riding in on a donkey a beautiful picture of a humble act... but so was the washing of feet. God in the flesh kneeling down and cleaning his brothers' dirty feet. Talk about humility. and this morning at Church Under the Bridge... we all got the amazing privilege to follow Christ's example.. to glorify Him by being a servant... by washing one another's feet.

empty me.

Holy fire

burn away

my desire

for anything

that is not of you

and is of me

i want more of you

and less of me.

Helpless. Hopeful.

my hope is weak and this night has been so long
and the sounds of injustice are all around
i feel so powerless standing against it
who am i to try to resist this wicked machine?

but as i look around i see my family by my side
and with one voice we lift our hands to the sky
in defiance to this broken system
in hope for the New World
where injustice does not prevail and evil is not a career

and i know my hope is not in vain
no matter how small my strength or quiet my shout
every bit of hope, of faith, of love is not wasted
because even the smallest victory lights up the night

maybe not today or the day after tomorrow
but Redemption Himself will come
on that day everything changes
and this broken world is made New




i came across this poem and i am very encouraged by it. because it is easy for me to look at the immense brokenness of this world... by seeing the enemy at work everywhere.. from my school to the streets.... to see all this evil and feel so helpless.


i feel helpless when i talk to a friend who has completely lost touch with God and now lives a life lacking any sort of meaning because they say they "simply don't care enough".


i feel helpless when i read and hear about all the corruption and fighting and poverty in Africa.. a place where death is so rampant my entire high school would die off in 3 days.


i feel helpless when a homeless man gazes deep into my eyes with tears running down his dirty face and tells me his devastating story and pleads with me to promise i will stay away from drugs and alcohol cause if not i "will end up like him"... and i don't have words to give him.


i feel helpless sometimes... but i am always encouraged when reminded that my hope is not in vain and that Christ will one day create a new earth like the scriptures say in Revelation. And on that day i will rejoice with my brothers and sisters in Christ. Suffering will be no more. Pain will be no more. And injustice will cease.


Here's Gary... the homeless man I was talking about it. He's awesome.

Weird but Wonderful.

Ad showed me this a few weeks ago.... i feel like it's worth posting.

I wish whoever made this hadn't mixed the videos.. i think it takes away from the beauty of this re-make.

But check it out.. and love it.

I Need You.

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
//Romans 8:26-28


Such a beautiful scripture. Thank you Nadia. But more importantly.. thank you Jesus.


Sorry that I don't have more to say... but I've done enough talking lately. I'm just allowing the Lord to hold me and be all that I need.

Because He is.


He
is
all
i
need.

and he's all you need.
and so much more.

Shadowfeet.

I really liked this.

Mercy is Falling.

Wow... sorry it's been so long. So much has been going on.. I really haven't been able to process it all... but the good news is that most of it is amazing things God has been doing.

I've really been trying to refocus lately. I realized a few weeks back that I haven't been doing a very good job on taking care of some internal business. I find myself talking to others about God and spending time thinking about God-related things... but not participating in my own personal time with Him... the time I owe to Him so that He can show me my flaws.... the time I owe so that He can bring to the surface my sins and my issues.. but also the time I owe so that He can renew me and give me the word I need to get past those harmful things... and the time I owe so that I can get closer to the One I love... the One who loves me more.

So... I've made it a point to be in the Word more... a lot more. And really soak it in... really LISTEN. And then really live it. It's not easy... but my attempt and effort at this has brought me all the more closer to Him.



Just have to share this real quick... me and my friends Matt and Seth went down to Dallas today to a wonderful place called Mercy House. I got the opprotunity to meet and talk with some truely beautiful people.. most of them homeless. We had breakfast and lunch and in between a worship service... in which the Spirit of God completely engulfed. Good old fashion gospel singing and some amazing good words. I cannot wait to go back. The couple who run Mercy House are amazing godly people with huge hearts. They are the kind of people that are concerned all and only about the Father's kingdom... the kind of people that are living out His word... the kind of people that love Him with their lives.

To Be Alone With You.

so I had this moment yesterday where I was completely silent before God... it's hard for me to be completely silent... not just verbally but also mentally... no thoughts running through my head... not thinking about anything... not thinking about the fact that I'm trying not to think... it's not easy. I don't even know if it's possible... but I think I got pretty close.



I asked God to speak. And I've asked that a lot... but I never seem to let Him, cause I'm usually talking and thinking too much for myself. But yesterday I made myself shut up. I was driving... and for a while I was kind of frustrated because I didn't feel like God was saying anything. I kept praying a prayer from Mark 9- "I do believe, help me with my unbelief." Because, honestly, I was doubtful of if I was going to actually "hear" God.



My desperation grew as I got closer and closer to home. Does God really have anything to say to me? Am I actually going to hear His voice? What should I listen for? Am I just wasting my time?



I was about to give up on the whole silence thing, when I suddenly realized the strong presence of God with me in my car. And I know this is going to sound kind of hokey.. but I know it happened. I know it was real and I can't really explain it. Somehow.. not in an audible voice... but in some kind of heart language I guess... God said, "Meghan, do you know how much I love you?" Out loud I said, "Yes. Of course I do." Then God asked, "But do you really know how much I love you?" "Well... maybe not," I said. Then God said these beautiful words: "YOU are my child."

You
are
my
child.


I really can't get over that. He loves me like His child. And sometimes that's all we need to hear... our daddy telling us how much he loves us and that we are indeed His. We are loved just as much and in the same way as Christ. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around that.

"This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased..." (Matthew 17:5)


We are His beloved.



Listen to Sufjan's Stevens song "To Be Alone With You".

O His Love.

I just finished Redeeming Love... such a good read. Very different from the books I usually get into... but I'd definitely recommend it. Such a beautiful love story... not only between a man and a woman (a woman whose very hard to love at that).... but more importantly, the love story between God and his child. I, like the main character, a prostitute, turn away and turn away from God and go back to my old ways. And yet, My Father's love is unfailing... unconditional... redeeming.


The book ends with this....

"Love the Lord your God,
And love one another.
Love one another as he loves.
Love with strength and purpose and passion
And no matter what comes against you.
Don't weaken.
Stand against the darkness, and love.
That's the way back into Eden.
That's the way back to life."


I love it.