a pitiful fool.

"If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied."

1 Cor 15:19

The few moments when i actually grasp and experience the weight of this verse... i am shamed.  if the resurection did not happen... would i be looked at as a poor, sad, pitiful soul that poured out all she had for Jesus and lived a life of absolute sold out commitment to the hope of the resurrection?

God has not stopped repeating this scripture in my ear.  "Are you above all most to be pitied?" he says.  or am i one that if Jesus did not raise again, wouldn't have that much evidence for anyone to feel sorry for me... cause i wasn't all that sold out anyway.

John Piper writes about this text.  He talks about the way Paul lived a life worthy of being called a pitiable fool.  And he goes on to discuss this life... a sold out life... one of self-sacrifice versus a lukewarm (church word) life... one of self-indulgence.

Throw down Piper:

"The incentive goes like this: I believe that deep down most of you, at your best and highest moments, dream of spending your lives in sacrificial love, not selfish indulgence. We dream of a life that's cutting edge and radical and risk-taking and different from the cautious, prudent, secure, self-enhancing life of middle-class America.

I know that there is another side to us and that we have other dreams that we are not very proud of. We dream of all the physical pleasures, all the material comforts, all the earthly securities, all the family delights, all the human esteem or fame that is possible to get in this life. And if that's all you dream about, then my point in this message is probably going to go in one ear and out the other.

But I think most of you have had those higher moments when you dream of spending your life in the service of some great cause that helps other people in spite of tremendous cost to you - a life of sacrificial love, not selfish indulgence."

i want to live radically.  

i want to live with a reckless abandon.  

i want to live the life of a pitiful fool if this jesus story isn't true.

and for the record... it is true.  Jesus rose.  for me.  for you.  and that is enough for me to want to be a pitiful fool for Him.

Jesus forgive me when i am so far from this.