roots and reflection.

reflection.

this is a discipline i need to practice more regularly.  

i like to be doing something.  i like to get things done.

i like to get through a stack of books and say DONE.

i like feeling accomplished.  who doesnt?

but what good is it really, if i get a lot "done" but dont let it touch my heart.

reminds me of high school... get work done, do what i need to do to get the A...

now if you ask me one thing about calculus.. no clue.

so i need to slow down... breathe... take things in... reflect.

if i listen to teaching... reflect.

if i read a book... reflect.

if i study scripture... reflect.

if i have good conversation with a friend... reflect.

if i do life for a semester... reflect.

easier said than done though.

reflection can be hard.  we forget things.  

it can also be messy.  those burdens we've shoved to that dark corners of our hearts.  those sins in our lives that we just cant shake.  those moments of absolute failure.  reflection causes those ugly things to flood back into the very front stage of our minds... vivid and clear as ever.

messy...

but when god takes a humble step into the cesspool of our filth... what is always birthed forth from our mess is beauty.

but this process of beautification... this progressive sanctifying... begins with reflection.

and it begins at the root.  

if we don't start at the root... we will live forever in the endless cycle of bondage.  we will time after time fall on our face exhausted as our sin continues to drag us by the ankle through mud.  our spirit will die because no amount of extensive moral striving can fix the mess.  we will lose hope... in our selves and in God.

we have to begin at the root.  that means we have to roll up our sleeve and dig.  we have to come to grips with the source of the junk in our lives.  otherwise the manifestations will always linger.

i've got junk.  

so i'm reflecting.

and letting the maker put his gloves on and uproot these evils in my heart that were never meant to be there... and allowing him to further the sanctification only He can do in me... so that one day i can proclaim victory over sin.  all the while, in the process, leaving holes in my heart where these idols are uprooted... holes that will be filled with His love... until my every vein and artery pumps with the blood of jesus... the very blood that saves my life.