Go! Iceland.

Music from Iceland is like nothing else... so weird... so awesome.

This is a clip of Bjork's show from ACL about a month ago... so crazy.

Questioning Religion...?

I question things a lot... little things... other people... and yes even god things.

Someone said to me today that they thought it was weird that I am the type of person who questions things because of "how religious I am". He didn't mean that I just accept and believe anything... but I guess typical Christians don't question thing as much as non-Christians.

I picked up a book at Barnes and Noble the other day called "Why I'm Not a Christian". I only read a little bit of the book but I found it extremely interesting. The author had a lot of questions and thoughts... which I very much disagreed with... but I think it's good to see other sides of things and where people are coming from... and it also helps me to really dig into my faith and understand what I believe and why.

Just from reading a chapter of that book, I think the author probably had some bad experiences with "Christians" or at least has seen Christianity mis-represented one too many times. It brought back a lot of thoughts of my own experience as a Christian...

I used to think Christianity was about religion. Period. It was about going to church (check), reading the bible (check), living a morally good life(check). Rituals. Religion. And oh how unfulfilling that was. Empty religion.

Then, I questioned.

And I realized this revolutionizing point: "It's not about religion, it's about a relationship". Christ-followership. Intimacy with Jesus. Loving people. Obedience springing from love, not a check-list springing from conviction and duty. Following blindly with my life, not doing my monthly act of service. Letting my heart be broken with the things that break His heart, not ignoring others and only focusing on me me me.

Relationship not religion.

And it's so not empty.

It's so more than fulfilling too.


It's Beautiful... the most beautiful thing there is.

Listen.

Well I guess it's been about a week... since I was last on here... yea, not that long... but I usually post pretty often...

Maybe it's because I have nothing to post about... but that's not really true... more of the reason is that I feel like I've been going 500 miles an hour... school, church, homecoming, stuff. It's tough.. cause I haven't been with my friends in forever. And if you know me at all, you know that's beyond important to me. I need them.

But back to the 500 miles an hour thing... so basically I realized today that I've been pretty ignorant of a lot of things since I'm doing so much... I've neglected sleep, homework, friends (not on purpose).. and today I sadly realized... God. I've been ignoring God... well I mean I've been reading His word and praying... but just not listening. Basically I've been having a one-way conversation... all me... none of Him. Yea, pretty lame relationship I know.

I ignored the nudging of the Holy Spirit today... later I paid the consequence. And I'm glad that happened.. because it made me realize my ignorance... but it really sucks that it had to come to that for me to listen... or even think about listening for that matter. I think I just need to be silent.



I love this poem... He listens... and so should I.

Silence

What’s happening here?
I was once so alive and now I’m so full of dread and almost dead
Show me your wounded head that has led to communion with the father
But where did he go?
His presence seems farther and farther away each day but I’m trying so hard to steer his way
Yet still lonely and confused on this cold hard ground I lay

Speak to me wise mouth and say “it’s all good kid, it’s nothing that you did, and though it feels like I’m not here with you right now just be still and silent and listen for that sound..
Shhh..
Did you hear it?
Listen again.
Did you hear it?
That silent voice that just spoke nothing, that is me, I’m listening to your plea with open ears
Counting all your tears flowing from your irritated eyes
Searching the skies looking for that hope that beyond there lies.

Oh you young worrisome sparrow, find rest
Lay your battered head upon my omnipresent breast and make it your nest
No strong cold wind could ever blow and carry you from this your home
Look around, see the life shooting up from the ground
Spring colors springing fourth and celebration of your trusting

It’s a constant process this is
Growing you into the man you are to become
But when you sense the setting of the sun know it is only rising and has just begun
Now go fourth, sing songs of faith, and lift up others in the midst of this race
And if you can’t keep the pace or lose sight of my face
Know that I’m always near so you need not fear
But don’t worry about all that right now
Just sit here and enjoy the peace I offer in my silence
When I am silent I am listening, and not abandoning.

-Bradley Hathaway

Motha' T.

Yea so I'm reading about Mother Teresa... she's pretty awesome. Like no joke.. one of the most selfless people in history... with the extreme exception of Big JC himself.

I found something really interesting that she wrote about in her person diaries... She talked about the fact that Jesus thirsts for us. I have never really heard that said before... She says, "Not only He loves you, even more-He longs for you. He misses you when you don't come close. He thirsts for you..." What an amazing way to express God's desire for us. He thirsts.

John 19:28 says, "Jesus, knowing that all was finished, said, "I thirst."' Jesus said this as He took some of his last breaths on the cross... and then some of the Romans held a sponge of vinegar up to His mouth... stupid Romans. That makes me laugh. I mean seriously, Jesus endured more pain than any human should... and did not complain once. Do they really think He's gonna ask for a drink NOW? No... this was a different kind of thirst... as Mother T said, "He spoke of His thirst- not for water- but for love, for sacrifice." God thirsts for these things... and He thirsts for us. Another brilliant quote of Mother...'"I thirst" is something much deeper than just Jesus saying "I love you." Until you know deep inside that Jesus thirsts for you- you can't begin to know who He wants to be for you. Or who He wants you to be for Him."

I think that last statement is interesting..."who He wants you to be for Him." Mother Teresa seemed to get this too... she wrote about what she thought the job of a missionary for Christ is to be... she said our aim should be "to satiate the thirst of Jesus" and "to quench the infinite thirst of a God made man... by our love." God thirsts for us... and we are to satisfy... to completely suffuse... to drown His thirst.

Da Word.

The bible is so crazy... like the other day Amanda showed me a whole chapter in 1 Corinthians she found...it seemed like we had never even read it before. It was like God straight talking to her... like He just wrote it down. The living Word of God foreal.

And yesterday, I was going through the Old Testament and there were little books in there I've never even looked at. I'm really excited to start studying the O.T. because I don't read it as much as I should... and I'm pretty sure it's important.. I mean it's the bible Jesus read right?

It's kinna funny... the other day, someone at school told me that her teacher wouldn't let her read her Bible during our "designated reading time". The teacher told her she had to read a novel. I would have loved to ask her teacher some questions...

"Ok what.. so you want me to read some Nora Roberts romance novel? Well, actually the Bible is full of romance. In fact, it's the greatest love story ever." Or... "Would you like me to read a murder story? Well, the Bible includes one of the most brutal types of murders in history.. Crucifixion on a cross." Or maybe... "Should I read a mystery novel? Well, the Bible includes the greatest mystery... one that is still unsolved. The mystery of how God could love me and you, sinners, so much that He would die for us."

I have to say though... I do agree that the Bible is not just a novel... no it's definitely far more than a good book you read from beginning to end and then add to your bookshelf... like I said before it's the living Word of God... it's alive in our hands. We hold such a power... and so many times I forget that God's Word.. his voice to me... is right here in my grasp. Ephesians 6 calls it our sword. No wonder that teacher made my friend put her Bible away... no weapons allowed at school right?

Remedy.

"Never Let Go" Lyrics

When clouds veil sun

And disaster comes

Oh, my soul Oh, my soul

When waters rise

And hope takes flight

Oh, my soul Oh, my soul Oh, my soul

Ever faithful

Ever true

You I know

You never let go

You never let go

You never let go

You never let go

When clouds brought rain

And disaster came

Oh, my soul Oh, my soul

When waters rose

And hope had flown

Oh, my soul Oh, my soul Oh, my soul

Oh, my soul

Overflows

Oh, what love, oh, what love

Oh, my soul

Fills hope

Perfect love that never lets go

Oh, what love, oh what love

Oh, what love, oh what love

In joy and pain

In sun and rain

You’re the same

Oh, You never let go

So basically, if you haven't bought the new David Crowder cd, Remedy... i don't know what you're waiting for. Another amazing album by dcb... his lyrics are always powerful.

It's kinna funny that this entry is called Remedy considering my last one was Exhausted. I'm not going to say that God came in and cleaned up everything that's going on right now... (I've pretty much learned that that's not really how He works)... but He has given me peace. I love what Anne Lammot said, "God isn't there to take away our suffering or our pain, but to fill it with His presence." There's nothing more comforting than to know you're not alone... and I so often forget that God is right here with me... he's hurting with me. Because it's not like he's never experienced pain... I mean He took on the weight of the entire world... all our sin... He experienced death... He had to experience darkness for us... He had to experience "the abscence of God" in a sense... so that we never have to.

I am not alone. You are not alone. He is the Remedy. He's the cure to your pain... to your suffereing... to your hurt. Not because He necessarily takes it away... but because He's there.

He's there.

And he never lets go.

Exhausted.

I'm so tired... in fact I'm exhausted.. fatigued.. just plain worn out.

I mean weariness in the physical sense mainly, but I am also emotionally and mentally exhausted. Spiritually.. I don't know... can we become spiritually worn out? Maybe. I guess I just feel the need for peace and rest. Peace and rest... I really really need it.

It's funny cuz before I felt this way... several days back... I read Matthew 11:28. It says, "Come to Me, all you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." Beautiful... I know I say that a lot. But that's the word that comes to mind when I read scripture like this. Such a comforting verse... so encouraging and up-lifting. Thank you, God.

Something quite profound has really hit me lately. Well i guess you could call it profound... maybe after I say it though, it will seem like common sense... but see, God has really revealed to me his power and his sovereignty lately. Pena talked about this at BC this morning... she shared a little bit of her journey with God. She said that when she was at her weakest possible point God picked her up and showed her where His place in her life should be.. and she became strengthened through Him. And that helped me realize that when we are our weakest.. when we are at our lowest low... when we are tired... exhausted... that's when God's strength is the most. That's when, if we allow Him, God can make us stronger than ever because it is Him who is holding us up... not ourselves.. not our own strengths.

So I guess I should be joyous to say that I am weak.

I'M WEAK!


AND GOD IS STRONG.