High School

so high school...



yea usually that's about as much enthusiasm as i have about the whole deal.. but I'm looking at my school experience differently this year... I think (well I hope) I'm looking at it through God's eyes. It's a crazy challenge though.. being amongst so many lost people everyday. But God has prepared my heart.. through being so encouraged by my friends and through prayer.



I've already had my slip-ups though. I've already missed opportunities to talk to people I felt led to talk to. I hate my fear. That's Satan's biggest way to get me. And it's funny.. cuz who do i have to fear but God right? Fear sets in too because I don't have most of my friends who are so spiritually strong and encouraging by my side at school- although I have seen people praying and I know there are other Christ-followers.. which is absolutely encouraging- but I do have to rely on God more... which is a good thing.



I can't get over this scripture lately...

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God." (Philippians 1:3-11)

..thank you to all my brothers and sisters who are so spiritually encouraging,

I am truly blessed.

Grief

So I finished A Grief Observed yesterday. It is basically a book of C.S. Lewis grieving and mourning the loss of his wife... I hurt for him. I can't imagine what that feels like to lose someone who is so close.. so close that they make up a part of you.


I can't really relate to the intensity of Lewis' sadness.. but everyone knows how it feels to hurt to some extent. And like Lewis.. lately I hurt because I know people that are going away.. both physically and spiritually. The physical "going away" is my friends who are leaving for college.. some very dear to me. It's just kind of weird them not being in close proximity. But that's something I can cope with much easier than watching friends who are spiritually "going away". For there are people that I know who are walking away from God... people whom I love. And the part that makes me saddest is that it seems they aren't just stumbling in their walk like we all do.. it's as if they are blatantly turning their back on God. And I pray that's not true.. I pray they're not saying "screw you" to God.. I hurt for them tremendously.

And then there are the people that aren't "going away".. they are the friends that don't have the option of doing so. They are my friends who are lost. They are the people I hurt for the most. I feel so disconnected from them... maybe I feel a tiny dose of the separation Lewis felt from his wife whom he loved so dearly when she passed... just in a different sense. So, I pray they accept God's love.. I pray they come to know my Jesus.. because they may not think so.. but they need Him.. they need him more than anything else.

Amiina

i can't get over the fact the girl's playing a saw...

i love music.

Only You.

Take my heart. I Lay it down
At the feet of you whose crowned.
Take my life, I’m letting go.
I lift it upto You who’s throned.


And I will worship You, Lord.
Only You, Lord.
And I will bow down before You.
Only You Lord.


Take my fret, take my fear.
All I have, I’m leaving here.
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams.
You're my delights, be my everything.


And It’s just you and me here now.
Only you and me here now.


You should see the view
When it’s only You.



David Crowder kicks butt.

Blogging anyone...?

Yes... i have a blog... don't ask me what possessed me to do it... just embrace it. It's not like I got a myspace or something. I'm not that crazy. Although, I have decided to admit that many good things do come out of the cyber world... it's pretty much what you make of it... just like with anything...

Evil is always around us while we are here. I haven't found a way to avoid it. I'm working on it. I mean, I guess all us Christians could close ourselves up in some church away from the world so we wouldn't have to see the suffering or experience temptation or talk to "pagans"... but then i guess we couldn't read the bible either... unless we wanted to feel completely convicted. Because of course, Jesus did the complete opposite of separating himself from us sinners... he intentionally put himself among the suffering and the evil of this world. Rick McKinley said, "Signposts of the kingdom [of God] radiate the most beauty when they're planted in the middle of the most mess." How true... and how beautiful.

So I guess we have to be in the very center of this fallen, sin-ridden world... but that doesn't mean we have to fall into Satan's traps. God gives us hope and encouragement in 1 John 5. "This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world."

I am born of God... so I can overcome the world? Wow. That means I have won the battle over lust and temptation. I can overcome worldly desires... but ONLY through faith in Christ. And his commands aren't a burden? That's interesting because a lot of people think of commands as rules and simply a moral code that shuts us off from fun. And to be honest, I sometimes don't want to follow them... sometimes, I would rather sin. But the second I realize God's love... the second I let myself get captured in it... I know there's nothing better. I know I don't want anything to do with sin. I don't want any darkness to take away from the light of my Savior and my ability to receive his love. I want to stay wrapped in His arms forever. That's why his commands aren't burdensome... because they keep me closer to Him.

Thank you, God, for your commands and your love. Amen.