Wednesday, May 18, 2011

in the hammock...

here I sit, or here I lay rather...
in the hammock.
my last evening here for a while.
i remember
i've found myself here, alone, a few times before...

one time, many months ago..
with many tears, crying
a bad cry, as my friends would call it
feeling "so utterly alone"...
maybe a bit dramatic..
nonetheless
unsure of what to do with the pain
from relationship wounds that seeped..
relationships with those
who lived inside the little white adobe beside me.
so unsure of where to go.

in the hammock
another time, a little later
laughing, belly laughing in fact.
enjoying every living thing around me,
my heart so full of love for these friends of mine
my mind so forgetful of the gloom
and my soul full of excitement for adventures ahead.

in the hammock
now I am yet again
not sure what to think.
knowing that what has been
will not be again...
in quite the same way at least.
reality setting in
like the setting of mr. sun..
2 dear friends will be gone
from this white residence when I return "home".
that's alright though,
i'll see them again soon i'm sure of it.

truly,
my heart is full as I lay.
life here has been like a dream,
oh a wonderful dream
some days, yes a nightmare...
but only some days.
and those are days i mostly forget
because of the goodness of the good days,
the great days...
days full of music, laughter, dancing, shouting,
and hugging...
always hugging.
the hugs never seem to stop here.
4 in 1 room and you think we'd get tired.
ha!

life in the kingdom is not quite the same,
as life elsewhere.
in a kingdom house,
let's call it a house on king st.,
the impossible is always possible
and the hard stuff is always overcome
and love always wins.
love always wins..
yes, there's one i know now..
deep deep deep inside this little heart of mine.
still going deeper of course.

sometimes i wish things are as they were,
but then i see things as they are
and what they are becoming
and i say
OK!

greater things to come
i do believe it.
in fact, i know it.
greater,
not because they're better than today
per se,
but because tomorrow is a new today
and that's where i like be.
in the present
in His presence,
and when i can,
in the hammock.