To Be Alone With You.

so I had this moment yesterday where I was completely silent before God... it's hard for me to be completely silent... not just verbally but also mentally... no thoughts running through my head... not thinking about anything... not thinking about the fact that I'm trying not to think... it's not easy. I don't even know if it's possible... but I think I got pretty close.



I asked God to speak. And I've asked that a lot... but I never seem to let Him, cause I'm usually talking and thinking too much for myself. But yesterday I made myself shut up. I was driving... and for a while I was kind of frustrated because I didn't feel like God was saying anything. I kept praying a prayer from Mark 9- "I do believe, help me with my unbelief." Because, honestly, I was doubtful of if I was going to actually "hear" God.



My desperation grew as I got closer and closer to home. Does God really have anything to say to me? Am I actually going to hear His voice? What should I listen for? Am I just wasting my time?



I was about to give up on the whole silence thing, when I suddenly realized the strong presence of God with me in my car. And I know this is going to sound kind of hokey.. but I know it happened. I know it was real and I can't really explain it. Somehow.. not in an audible voice... but in some kind of heart language I guess... God said, "Meghan, do you know how much I love you?" Out loud I said, "Yes. Of course I do." Then God asked, "But do you really know how much I love you?" "Well... maybe not," I said. Then God said these beautiful words: "YOU are my child."

You
are
my
child.


I really can't get over that. He loves me like His child. And sometimes that's all we need to hear... our daddy telling us how much he loves us and that we are indeed His. We are loved just as much and in the same way as Christ. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around that.

"This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased..." (Matthew 17:5)


We are His beloved.



Listen to Sufjan's Stevens song "To Be Alone With You".

O His Love.

I just finished Redeeming Love... such a good read. Very different from the books I usually get into... but I'd definitely recommend it. Such a beautiful love story... not only between a man and a woman (a woman whose very hard to love at that).... but more importantly, the love story between God and his child. I, like the main character, a prostitute, turn away and turn away from God and go back to my old ways. And yet, My Father's love is unfailing... unconditional... redeeming.


The book ends with this....

"Love the Lord your God,
And love one another.
Love one another as he loves.
Love with strength and purpose and passion
And no matter what comes against you.
Don't weaken.
Stand against the darkness, and love.
That's the way back into Eden.
That's the way back to life."


I love it.