Suffering.

So I live in America... a place where it's not that uncommon to find someone who calls themselves a Christian... "a Christian nation" some might call us.


It's kind of strange isn't it though... I mean if you really think about. Some throw around the term "Christian"... some use it so lightly... as if they might describe themselves as outgoing, funny, trendy, and christian. Like it's just another adjective. Christian is a noun! It doesn't just describe someone... it defines them.


The more I read Jesus' teachings... the more disgusted I am with so many people's outlook on Christianity. Because something that Jesus is never afraid to tell people is that being a Christ-follower is not easy... it's tough... it's scary... it's different... it's radical. Matthew 7:14 says "For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few." Jesus straight up says that this faith... this journey... this way of life... is not normal. It's like everyone is going one way... and we are going to have to go the complete opposite way. Not exactly what some people think when they describe themselves as "christian".


Another not so glamorous side to Christianity is suffering. Yes... suffering? Because what is at the center of the Christian faith.. well Christ of course. And what was the reason Christ came... to suffer... for us. So when we are called to be like Christ.. we are called to suffer.

Narrow path, pain, a hard way, suffering. Seems like a weird thing to sign up for doesn't it? It's something I can't explain... but it's something I just know is right. Maybe it's because we all know that we were created to live for something more... but we've screwed that up... and we all desperately want something worth dying for. Or maybe because Jesus' vision for life takes everything we have and that's what's so appealing about it. Or maybe because it's when we feel most in tune with God... in the midst of suffering.


And that's why I don't feel like many people look at Christianity the way Jesus presented it... because every one's trying so hard to make their life easier. And if you haven't realized, choosing to follow Christ doesn't mean everything gets right and problems are gone forever... in fact, I think it brings about more. But in some way that I can't put into words, it is beautiful. It is right.

And I've chosen the hard way... not to live a "Christian" life... but to try to live like Christ. It means that I have to love people more than myself. It means that I have to refuse to become numb to this broken world. It means I have to hurt and feel and suffer. But it also means that I have hope. I have a hope to offer the world... a hope that is that one day Christ will come back to this mess of a world and we will restore it.


"I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." He who was seated on the throne said, "I am making everything new!" Then he said, "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." ' (Revelation 21:2-5)

Psalms.

Wow. God has been so good lately... well not just lately... always. I guess I tend to mess things up a lot. He's so good to me, and I'm so bad to Him. Hmm.. funny how that always works.



I've been reading the Psalms... if you never have or you tend to get intimidated by the 150 chapters in the book... don't be. Because that's the beauty of the Psalms.. the fact that there are so many songs.. so many poems... so many emotions.. you're bound to connect with the writer. "Psalms" comes from the Hebrew word "Tehilim", תהילים, which means "praises". In Greek, it comes from the word "psalmoi" originally meaning "songs sung to a harp" and from "psallein" meaning "play on a stringed instrument". For me, music speaks to my heart in a way that nothing else can... and the Psalms are lyrics. I can think of few things more beautiful.



So I read Psalm 51 the other night. Two verses in that song just grabbed me... and shook me to the core. The first was verse 12: "Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant in me a willing spirit, to sustain me." Things for me have been I guess what one could call mundane lately. How refreshing to think on salvation.. the joy of salvation. That verse was a prayer for me. Then I read on and came upon verse 17: "My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." This whole sacrifice business has been coming up a lot. Rob Bell talked a lot about it.. and the previous verse in chapter 51, verse 16, says that God will not be pleased with burnt offerings or any of that. He wants a different kind of sacrifice. He wants our hearts... our broken hearts. And oh how mine has been so broken. I can think of nothing I would rather do than place my broken heart into the hands of the Father... into the hands of my Lover... into the hands of the Healer. Of course. The Healer.


Sometimes it's hard for me to read the Word. But then.. I do. And I realize it's alive. It's alive and it's connecting with me. And it will connect with you... because it's not a collection of old stories, or rules, or literature written by old kings. No, it is my story too. It's your story too. And every time I read it.. it's a way for God to speak to me.

My man Rob.

So I had the amazing opportunity to see Rob Bell on Friday... he blew me away as I knew he would. He has such knowledge and such insight that it makes me realize things about life and the Bible and God that I never even considered... things that are truly beautiful.

I was delighted to hear so much about the Old Testament which until recently, I have mainly dismissed. The significance that Rob revealed in some of the first books of the Bible gave a whole new perspective on things. He explained the transition from the altar sacrifice to many distant gods to the radical idea of altar sacrifice to a very intimate personal God who replies... then finally to the ultimate sacrifice Jesus Christ.

Hebrew 10:4- "For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins."

He also talked about kindness.. and the reincarnation of all things... the beauty of Christ. He shared so many real-life stories of people... I'll share a few that I loved... see if you can't see Jesus in these...

"A young woman had to have surgery on her face to remove a tumor in the cheek. The surgery was tough and they knew the woman's face was not going to be the same. They brought her husband into the room when the doctor unwrapped the bandages. Fully revealed, the wife's face was far from the one she used to have. The husband looked down at her for a moment. Then he said, "I like it." Then he bent down and kissed her crooked mouth."

"A woman was said to have been having visions of Jesus. A priest went to her and asked her about these visions. To test their validity he told the woman to ask Jesus in her next vision what she had confessed last time in confession.

The next time the priest saw her he asked her if she had had another vision. "Yes," the woman replied. "Well... did you ask him the question I told you to ask?" "Yes, I did." she responded. "Jesus said, 'I don't remember.'""

"I don't remember."

Me.

So I have to admit again that I'm draggin... so weary... so fatigued. Basketball is killer.. along with winter and having asthma... sickness... not to mention some personal junk. Life is just tough. Yea, really profound huh.

People say that your true character shines through during tough times... well if that's true (and i do believe it is) then my character really sucks. When things go bad for me, that's exactly what takes full reign in my mind... me. I have a very hard time being selfless when my life isn't just right. I seem to condone treating others like crap, if I feel like crap. I seem to excuse my sudden angry snaps at people simply because I'm having a bad day.

In my psychology course that just ended, we studied Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow said that physiological needs make up the base of his "motivation pyramid"... basically stating that food and water take first precedence over anything a human does. So one must have food and water before one can love. Without the "necessities" a person cannot think of anything else.

For a while... I wanted to argue Maslow's Hiearchy. I mean we can be selfless even when we're hungry right... especially us Christ-followers? But then I looked at my behavior. And I'm definitely not starving.. yet I still have trouble showing love to others when things aren't all in place for me.

It's that way with my relationship with God too. My response to God during rough times isn't always right. I'm not saying I should pretend everything is ok and not release my emotions... because the first one I should do that to is indeed He whom I'm closest with. However, I find myself not having enough faith in Him... almost putting limits on what I think God can do... almost doubting Him... almost seeing a very narrow version of who He really is... almost putting God in a box. (Thank you, Keith.) And that sucks, because God shows me what my faith really is... and it's weak.


God is way bigger than I know. I hate that I ever doubt Him. He's working on me though.


I just have to let Him.

The Hug Poem.

I read about how you touched them and they were healed
Or even if someone just touched your cloak
they were forever changed.
You let a broken women bathe your feet in her tears
And you washed your best friend’s feet.

I'm just wondering though did you ever just hug people
I mean I know that it's a silly question and all
I'm sure you would have why wouldn’t you
But its one of those things that was never mentioned that got me thinking about it
And how whenever there was a touch from you sins were forgiven and sickness fell.

I think I’m caught up in my sins
last time I checked all my body parts were properly working,nothing special here
I am just a kid with a heavy heart these passing sunrises and sunsets
I don’t think our encounter would have ended up in your gospels or anything
Because all I really need is a hug.

And that's ok for me to imagine right?
That’s not conflicting with any sort of theology is it?
Ok good... then hug me.

But not one of these side ways one arm around the neck type hugs
Or the ghetto right hand clasp fists elbows to chest pat pat on the back back
Or you put your right arm over my left arm
and I put my right arm under your left arm and we make this weird sort of diagonal thing
No none of those.
BEAR HUG ME MAN

Take your old school carpenter arms and throw them over my upper body
leaving my arms dangling underneath yours somewhere
and I can barely move them because your squeezing me so hard.
But don’t pick me up and make my back pop because I hate it when people do that.

And hold me, hold me here in your arms until I start to cry because
I WANT TO CRY
But I just can’t seem to do it on my own.
I have been teary eyed once recently but not even enough for a drip down my cheek.
There's just hurt in my soul that needs to be purged
so hold me here in this hugging pose
until the pain is flowing from my eyes and nose.


-Bradley Hathaway

Death or Love.

So me and some friends have been studying Genesis... and I love reading a book from beginning to end.. not skipping around and pulling out things here and there... but reading it verse after verse.. I'm starting to see so many things that I've missed before.

I was reading chapter 9 and I came across verse 6, "Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image." I was a little disturbed by this... I mean it makes sense... it's just... but it seems harsh. I've also been very interested in the different positions on the death penalty lately.. so I've been seeking what God's view might be on the issue. And it seems to be quite clear in this verse.

However, I decided to look a little deeper into the good book. Matthew 5 had a lot to say. Jesus talked about anger saying... "You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgement. Again, anyone who insults his brother is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell.(v. 21-22)

Then in Matthew 5: 38-43..."You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you."


So what's the deal? Do God and Jesus have different views on this subject? But how can they.. aren't they the same? My thoughts exactly. But I don't think this is a contradiction.. and I don't think big G changed his mind either. No, I think it's quite similar to what we see throughout the entire story of the bible.

In the Old Testament, there are many many rules and laws of the land from God. In fact, the Mosaic Code consists of 613 laws! And of course, Moses received the 10 commandments as well. But again I look at the New Testament... when Jesus is asked what the greatest commandment is, he simply says "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." (Matt 22:36-40) So we see that Jesus almost boils down all these laws of do's and dont's into 2 simple commands. Love God. Love People. I think Jesus is almost saying, do these 2 things.. and you won't have to worry about keeping all the laws.

I will never fully understand God.. I will never fully know how he thinks... but I do know that God sent his son... and I do know Christ died for me.. and he died for you. JC showed the greatest act of love.. and he tells us to show the same to his Father and to others. And even though I mess up.. huge... I know I have someone who will plead my case to the Father... I know Jesus will stand between me and the God whom I have separated myself from because of my sin and he will say, "This is my child, whom I died for." And I will undeservedly be shown the amazing mercy and grace and love of my heavenly Dad.

"Through His humanity, Jesus Christ is able to mediate, that is, to go between man and God and represent man to God. As a mediator, Jesus reconciles man to God; He brings man back into fellowship with God." (2 Corinthians 5:18-19)

This is the Gospel.